Lately things have been weighing down on me and it's no one's fault but mine.

For the past couple of months I've been doubting school, which is CRAZY. I love Full Sail University. I love the students, the staff, the teachers, the campus, EVERYTHING. I love all the opportunities I'm already getting and will be getting.

But I can't help but feel like I'm missing something. I miss music theory. I miss writing. I miss singing. I miss performing.

I miss that exhilarating feeling when I'd get letters in the mail about being published internationally. I know this might sound meaningless to the common person but to me, it was everything. And I miss creating music. I think I really just want to open up my own library/coffee shop/bakery/music store one day. And just write. I want to write to be published and I want to write for people. I need that back in my life. Everything is much more stable that way.

And today is me and Colin's one year. It's funny because at first I didn't get him...then I was understanding better...and now I feel like I'm almost back at stage one. I know deep down he loves me, but I also feel like he might not still. But then again I'm not one to love.